KillingTime
Diary of a Hit Man
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Oh Please!
Overheard at the office today:
“[Laura], I need to fax something personal. How do I make this thing work?”
Some days I could just shoot people. Oh wait. I do.
7:33 PM (0) comments (Home/top)
Overheard at the office today:
“[Laura], I need to fax something personal. How do I make this thing work?”
Some days I could just shoot people. Oh wait. I do.
7:33 PM (0) comments (Home/top)
Monday, February 23, 2004
Blogopoly!
OK, so Aaron's Rantblog is a site I probably wouldn't spend much time with normally. For one thing, he calls himself Aaron the Liberal Slayer. I suspect I've killed more liberals than he has. I don't track them like that, but I'm guessing the odds are in my favor on that one.
But Hugh Hewitt mentioned the Blogopoly stuff there, so I had to look.
I recognized a few. Many I didn't. I guess I'm behind the curve here. Go support your friends!
6:29 PM (0) comments (Home/top)
OK, so Aaron's Rantblog is a site I probably wouldn't spend much time with normally. For one thing, he calls himself Aaron the Liberal Slayer. I suspect I've killed more liberals than he has. I don't track them like that, but I'm guessing the odds are in my favor on that one.
But Hugh Hewitt mentioned the Blogopoly stuff there, so I had to look.
I recognized a few. Many I didn't. I guess I'm behind the curve here. Go support your friends!
6:29 PM (0) comments (Home/top)
Sunday, February 22, 2004
Wingfest
So I decided to go to Wingfest this year. It's at Division and Elston, so it's not a bad bus ride. Like hell I want to deal with parking. I didn't go last year, but the year before that was a good time. I'll head there after church, which I'll be heading out for after I get this posted. At least the weather isn't supposed to suck.
But looking at the website, I saw this in the FAQ:
Q: Are pets allowed at your event?
A: No. Chicago Municipal Health Code prohibits non-humanoid pets at this event.
Sorry. I just dont' know what to say.
8:47 AM (0) comments (Home/top)
So I decided to go to Wingfest this year. It's at Division and Elston, so it's not a bad bus ride. Like hell I want to deal with parking. I didn't go last year, but the year before that was a good time. I'll head there after church, which I'll be heading out for after I get this posted. At least the weather isn't supposed to suck.
But looking at the website, I saw this in the FAQ:
Q: Are pets allowed at your event?
A: No. Chicago Municipal Health Code prohibits non-humanoid pets at this event.
Sorry. I just dont' know what to say.
8:47 AM (0) comments (Home/top)
Friday, February 20, 2004
Cannibal Carl
Driving to work today, listening to Mancow on Q101. One caller was this guy named Carl. Carl wanted to protect his identity. Carl lives in a major metropolitan area.
Carl wanted to extend an invitation for someone to appear on his webcam. Carl claims to be a cannibal. He mentioned several times during the interview that he likes the taste of human flesh.
Apparently, he had a friend who worked at a morgue, and would now and then bring parts home. As a joke at first, but somehow Carl ended up tasting some. And he liked it.
So Carl calls Mancow, who will listen to just about anyone, at least for a couple minutes. Carl wants someone to volunteer to be eaten on his webcam. Mancow pretty much told him where to go, and said like hell he'd help promote this.
Personally, I kindof doubt the whole thing.
On the other hand, if he really has a website for that, and a webcam to boot, then it makes my stupid little blog seem a little...lame? I don't know what to think.
So, let me state for the record that I don't know who this Carl is. I don't know where he lives. If he just happens to end up suddenly dead, I swear I know nothing about it.
Just so we're clear on that...
6:27 PM (0) comments (Home/top)
Driving to work today, listening to Mancow on Q101. One caller was this guy named Carl. Carl wanted to protect his identity. Carl lives in a major metropolitan area.
Carl wanted to extend an invitation for someone to appear on his webcam. Carl claims to be a cannibal. He mentioned several times during the interview that he likes the taste of human flesh.
Apparently, he had a friend who worked at a morgue, and would now and then bring parts home. As a joke at first, but somehow Carl ended up tasting some. And he liked it.
So Carl calls Mancow, who will listen to just about anyone, at least for a couple minutes. Carl wants someone to volunteer to be eaten on his webcam. Mancow pretty much told him where to go, and said like hell he'd help promote this.
Personally, I kindof doubt the whole thing.
On the other hand, if he really has a website for that, and a webcam to boot, then it makes my stupid little blog seem a little...lame? I don't know what to think.
So, let me state for the record that I don't know who this Carl is. I don't know where he lives. If he just happens to end up suddenly dead, I swear I know nothing about it.
Just so we're clear on that...
6:27 PM (0) comments (Home/top)
Thursday, February 19, 2004
Blogrolling
Well, I've got a blogroll started. Next to feed it.
Also put up a link to the American Humane Society. Good people.
8:23 PM (0) comments (Home/top)
Well, I've got a blogroll started. Next to feed it.
Also put up a link to the American Humane Society. Good people.
8:23 PM (0) comments (Home/top)
Dream
I had this dream last night. I killed some guy, and then got a temp job filling in for him.
I got there and there were pictures everywhere, (quite the contrast with the desk I'm actually filling in at) but he wasn't in any of them. His computer desktop picture was a red Ferrari.
The rest of the office had me watch the phones while they all went to his funeral. The phones never rang. The entire building was silent, except for the clocks. They were the old clocks where the numbers flipped. So once a minute there was this crashing thungk as the clocks slowly flipped forward. It was a dream...
I was wandering the office. Everywhere I looked there was a picture of him. Employee of the month postings. He was the employee of the month every month, I'm not sure how far back it went, but there wasn't anyone else. There were pictures of the president shaking his hand, pictures of him with various sales managers, newspaper clippings with his picture...
But in every picture, there were two bullet holes in his smiling face, and the blood ran out of the pictures and pooled on the floor. The carpet was distinctly mustard yellow.
And then I was walking with a woman who was giving me a tour of the building. She showed me the cardiac wing that was named after him, because he had donated the money for it. Doctors smiled and waved.
The she introduced me to his secretary, who was pretty and did her work in nothing but a red lace teddy. She looked up from the filing she was squatting to do, pushed her librarian glasses back up on her nose and said hi as if nothing was wrong.
And then there was a hallway that I think was the hospital hallway from Terminator 2. It was white and sterile, and the doors all had little windows. My tour guide led me to one window which opened up on a great big room. In the room was his family, but the room was in hell. Fire, smoke, the works. And they were being whipped and tortured by devils (horns and tails and the works) wearing masks of the dead man's face.
"He keeps them here so they won't distract him from his Work," the secretary said. "Isn't it cool to watch? I know it turns me on," she said.
"That's why they hired you," my tour guide said.
The secretary was just starting to take off her teddy when the alarm went off.
Damned alarm clocks.
6:14 AM (0) comments (Home/top)
I had this dream last night. I killed some guy, and then got a temp job filling in for him.
I got there and there were pictures everywhere, (quite the contrast with the desk I'm actually filling in at) but he wasn't in any of them. His computer desktop picture was a red Ferrari.
The rest of the office had me watch the phones while they all went to his funeral. The phones never rang. The entire building was silent, except for the clocks. They were the old clocks where the numbers flipped. So once a minute there was this crashing thungk as the clocks slowly flipped forward. It was a dream...
I was wandering the office. Everywhere I looked there was a picture of him. Employee of the month postings. He was the employee of the month every month, I'm not sure how far back it went, but there wasn't anyone else. There were pictures of the president shaking his hand, pictures of him with various sales managers, newspaper clippings with his picture...
But in every picture, there were two bullet holes in his smiling face, and the blood ran out of the pictures and pooled on the floor. The carpet was distinctly mustard yellow.
And then I was walking with a woman who was giving me a tour of the building. She showed me the cardiac wing that was named after him, because he had donated the money for it. Doctors smiled and waved.
The she introduced me to his secretary, who was pretty and did her work in nothing but a red lace teddy. She looked up from the filing she was squatting to do, pushed her librarian glasses back up on her nose and said hi as if nothing was wrong.
And then there was a hallway that I think was the hospital hallway from Terminator 2. It was white and sterile, and the doors all had little windows. My tour guide led me to one window which opened up on a great big room. In the room was his family, but the room was in hell. Fire, smoke, the works. And they were being whipped and tortured by devils (horns and tails and the works) wearing masks of the dead man's face.
"He keeps them here so they won't distract him from his Work," the secretary said. "Isn't it cool to watch? I know it turns me on," she said.
"That's why they hired you," my tour guide said.
The secretary was just starting to take off her teddy when the alarm went off.
Damned alarm clocks.
6:14 AM (0) comments (Home/top)
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
Links.
I need more things to link to. It seems like any respectable blog links to half a dozen others. I even read one article that suggested that a blog isn't a real blog unless it has links and a blogroll. Blogrolling is on my todo list. Maybe over the weekend. The weeks I'm temping I'm less likely to learn new computer skills. Office work takes more out of me than killing. That's probably wierd, or at least a bad sign...
But when it comes down to it, I don’t really do all that much surfing. There’s always gun manufacturer websites, but those are easy to find. Besides, I don’t need to be recommending gun models anyway, right?
There are lots of Iraq blogs, but I gave up on reading them. Some of them were very interesting, but not exactly fun reads.
I do read plenty of blogs, I do. But I tend to go to blogger.com, and pick one of the recent updates. You never know what you're gonna get. But it's not quite like a box of chocolates.
Once I figure out blogrolling I'll go through my bookmarks. I'm sure it isn't going to be hard. Probably anticlimax, right? The blog process itself turned out easier than I expected. So if things start changing, that's what's going on. I'll let you know how it goes.
So that's what's on my mind just now.
8:08 PM (0) comments (Home/top)
I need more things to link to. It seems like any respectable blog links to half a dozen others. I even read one article that suggested that a blog isn't a real blog unless it has links and a blogroll. Blogrolling is on my todo list. Maybe over the weekend. The weeks I'm temping I'm less likely to learn new computer skills. Office work takes more out of me than killing. That's probably wierd, or at least a bad sign...
But when it comes down to it, I don’t really do all that much surfing. There’s always gun manufacturer websites, but those are easy to find. Besides, I don’t need to be recommending gun models anyway, right?
There are lots of Iraq blogs, but I gave up on reading them. Some of them were very interesting, but not exactly fun reads.
I do read plenty of blogs, I do. But I tend to go to blogger.com, and pick one of the recent updates. You never know what you're gonna get. But it's not quite like a box of chocolates.
Once I figure out blogrolling I'll go through my bookmarks. I'm sure it isn't going to be hard. Probably anticlimax, right? The blog process itself turned out easier than I expected. So if things start changing, that's what's going on. I'll let you know how it goes.
So that's what's on my mind just now.
8:08 PM (0) comments (Home/top)
Saturday, February 14, 2004
Obligatory Valentines Day Post
Like most single men, I don't really have plans for today. I'll hit the gym, which will have a few less people in it than other Saturdays. Other than than, who knows. I'll probably do some groceries, maybe catch a movie, maybe rent one. Or maybe I'll hop on a bus to one of the museums. I haven't done any of them in a while.
One thing I won't do today, is post something advertising my services.
Not after reading this at cnn.com. That's precisely why I'm NOT advertising, and NOT giving out certain kinds of information. That would be illegal... :)
Oh, and apparently, life is cheaper in South Korea than in Chicago. $8600 for two people? Maybe the guy considered them charity work. Maybe the economy there doesn't translate the same.
In other news, cats don't like coffee. I set my Starbuck's down on my desk, and over comes Walther, as he often does. I try to keep him off my desk, at least, but he's a cat. But then he went for the coffee. Giving in, I spilled some on a saucer for him. One tentative lap with the tongue, and he's been staying away from it all morning now. Maybe now he'll quit trying to check out the mug while I'm drinking it. Trust me, caffine he does not need.
8:57 AM (0) comments (Home/top)
Like most single men, I don't really have plans for today. I'll hit the gym, which will have a few less people in it than other Saturdays. Other than than, who knows. I'll probably do some groceries, maybe catch a movie, maybe rent one. Or maybe I'll hop on a bus to one of the museums. I haven't done any of them in a while.
One thing I won't do today, is post something advertising my services.
Not after reading this at cnn.com. That's precisely why I'm NOT advertising, and NOT giving out certain kinds of information. That would be illegal... :)
Oh, and apparently, life is cheaper in South Korea than in Chicago. $8600 for two people? Maybe the guy considered them charity work. Maybe the economy there doesn't translate the same.
In other news, cats don't like coffee. I set my Starbuck's down on my desk, and over comes Walther, as he often does. I try to keep him off my desk, at least, but he's a cat. But then he went for the coffee. Giving in, I spilled some on a saucer for him. One tentative lap with the tongue, and he's been staying away from it all morning now. Maybe now he'll quit trying to check out the mug while I'm drinking it. Trust me, caffine he does not need.
8:57 AM (0) comments (Home/top)
Monday, February 09, 2004
6 Weeks... oh boy.
Type. File. Fax.
This will probably be the least promising temp job ever.
Offshore banking is looking more attactive. Basically I'm filling in with someone with no job qualifications. None. I could probably show any bum off the street how to do this job in under an hour.
And for 6 weeks I'm supposed to do this? $13 an hour isn't that big a deal.
Actually, I bet there are people who would kill for this job. Easy as shit, and it pays. The boss suggested I bring a book to read during slow times. That ranks pretty high up their on the bad omens list. That and the desktop shortcut to solitaire.
In meeting the others in the office, I heard bits and pieces about her. She's off on maternity leave. Has been for 3 weeks already. The last temp couldn't handle the job. Must have been a Kelly temp.
She's been at the same desk for 9 years. There's a paper shopping bag full of romance paperbacks under the desk. But there's no personal calendar, no pictures. Spare change in the drawer, and a couple granola bars, and some wintergreen gum. But not a single thing that identifies the area as hers, other than the all lowercase nameplate.
Maybe its just me, but I would have at least brought in a framed picture. She's married, (that got mentioned already) but what kind of love is it if you don't have a picture of the guy at your desk? Maybe when she comes back she'll at least bring a picture of the kid.
I hope so.
6:54 PM (0) comments (Home/top)
Type. File. Fax.
This will probably be the least promising temp job ever.
Offshore banking is looking more attactive. Basically I'm filling in with someone with no job qualifications. None. I could probably show any bum off the street how to do this job in under an hour.
And for 6 weeks I'm supposed to do this? $13 an hour isn't that big a deal.
Actually, I bet there are people who would kill for this job. Easy as shit, and it pays. The boss suggested I bring a book to read during slow times. That ranks pretty high up their on the bad omens list. That and the desktop shortcut to solitaire.
In meeting the others in the office, I heard bits and pieces about her. She's off on maternity leave. Has been for 3 weeks already. The last temp couldn't handle the job. Must have been a Kelly temp.
She's been at the same desk for 9 years. There's a paper shopping bag full of romance paperbacks under the desk. But there's no personal calendar, no pictures. Spare change in the drawer, and a couple granola bars, and some wintergreen gum. But not a single thing that identifies the area as hers, other than the all lowercase nameplate.
Maybe its just me, but I would have at least brought in a framed picture. She's married, (that got mentioned already) but what kind of love is it if you don't have a picture of the guy at your desk? Maybe when she comes back she'll at least bring a picture of the kid.
I hope so.
6:54 PM (0) comments (Home/top)
Saturday, February 07, 2004
Movie Review - The Job
Last night, not feeling like going out drinking, I ended up renting The Job, starring Darryl Hannah.
She plays CJ, contract killer with a train load of emotional baggage. She looks the part of someone who needs alcohol to get through every day. Darryl Hannah's face structure makes it easy to do that. Strung out was the first word that came to mind, realizing that at least in this movie, she is not a pretty woman.
The premise, the contract killer who has to do one last job but doesn't think she can, is a little weak. The reasons she can't do it are a bit cliche'ed and not necessary.
Of course, not 30 seconds into it I was pointing out her mistakes. Good thing I never watch movies like that with other people.
I can imagine the scene:
Me - What? She's just walking around, no attempt at disquise? Chrissakes she isn't even wearing gloves! No, you idiot, break down the gun, and dispose of the pieces throughout town...
Friend - you really know a lot about this, don't you?
Me - Um, well, uh... I watch a lot of these movies?
Yah.
Even with some glaring technical flaws, (and people walking around with guns out not getting noticed) it was kindof a good movie. Definitely dark, and with no hero to sympathyze with. Dark in a Leaving Las Vegas way. Full of scummy characters to hate, and they're well acted, which makes it easier.
'scuse me, coffee's ready.
8:37 AM (0) comments (Home/top)
Last night, not feeling like going out drinking, I ended up renting The Job, starring Darryl Hannah.
She plays CJ, contract killer with a train load of emotional baggage. She looks the part of someone who needs alcohol to get through every day. Darryl Hannah's face structure makes it easy to do that. Strung out was the first word that came to mind, realizing that at least in this movie, she is not a pretty woman.
The premise, the contract killer who has to do one last job but doesn't think she can, is a little weak. The reasons she can't do it are a bit cliche'ed and not necessary.
Of course, not 30 seconds into it I was pointing out her mistakes. Good thing I never watch movies like that with other people.
I can imagine the scene:
Me - What? She's just walking around, no attempt at disquise? Chrissakes she isn't even wearing gloves! No, you idiot, break down the gun, and dispose of the pieces throughout town...
Friend - you really know a lot about this, don't you?
Me - Um, well, uh... I watch a lot of these movies?
Yah.
Even with some glaring technical flaws, (and people walking around with guns out not getting noticed) it was kindof a good movie. Definitely dark, and with no hero to sympathyze with. Dark in a Leaving Las Vegas way. Full of scummy characters to hate, and they're well acted, which makes it easier.
'scuse me, coffee's ready.
8:37 AM (0) comments (Home/top)
Thursday, February 05, 2004
Political Crap
For those who've only heard the tiny snippets on TV or radio, here is the
transcript of CIA Director George Tenet's speech about Iraq and prewar intelligence.
Well said, sez me.
7:20 PM (0) comments (Home/top)
For those who've only heard the tiny snippets on TV or radio, here is the
transcript of CIA Director George Tenet's speech about Iraq and prewar intelligence.
Well said, sez me.
7:20 PM (0) comments (Home/top)
Work Work
Just got a call from one of the agencies. I’ve got work starting Monday. It’s 6 weeks covering for a woman on maternity leave. 6 weeks seems like it ought to be a little short for maternity, and it’s longer than I prefer my temp assignments to be, but sometimes you take what you can get. I oddly both can and can’t afford to be picky…
4:15 PM (0) comments (Home/top)
Just got a call from one of the agencies. I’ve got work starting Monday. It’s 6 weeks covering for a woman on maternity leave. 6 weeks seems like it ought to be a little short for maternity, and it’s longer than I prefer my temp assignments to be, but sometimes you take what you can get. I oddly both can and can’t afford to be picky…
4:15 PM (0) comments (Home/top)
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Effing Birthdays...
Originally I was going to take today off from blogging. I’m not working, today was going to just be relaxing.
But then I got thinking, which usually gets me in trouble. No exception today.
I am worried about the midlife crisis. If I don’t worry about it this year, and get it over with, then next year is really going to suck. I’m 39, and where am I? I have a career I can’t admit to face to face. I’m bullshitting my time away at temp jobs, when anybody serious would just take the fake identities I use professionally and use those to also hide from the IRS. Would they even notice if I dropped off the earth? More importantly, would they contact Mom to find me? There’s a problem. Or maybe I break down and launder the money through one of the channels that lets me get paid well and still be legal. It’s a pain to set up, but probably worth it in the long run. Can’t say much more without getting into details that I’m not going to share. See the Disclaimer page (which sucks, I know) I slapped together for things I’m not going giving instruction on. CYA. Cover Your Ass. The First Amendment is only going to get me so far…
I’m pretty sure I’m never going to end up married. Taking pride in a job well done involves disposing of evidence. At least the pay is good.
That long ago career counselor in high school probably didn’t see this coming, so I guess school didn’t prepare me for the real world well.
Aw, fuck it. You do what you gotta do to get by, right?. Inevitably you piss somebody off. I don’t think that can be helped, but I’m cynical again today. I’ve already got some plans. Some time in the next 10 years I’ll end up somewhere warm, islands or South America, or maybe I’ll go to Europe. How many people get to retire before 50? Either way the temp job route has outlived itself. More and more often people are noticing I seem a little old to be a temp. Then there’s a whole new set of excuses and lying. I’ll set up something else over the summer.
But that’s enough. It’s time to get the cynicism out of my system. Gun ranges are good places to clear your head, as are fitness centers. That’s as good an excuse as any to get me out of the apartment tomorrow.
6:45 PM (0) comments (Home/top)
Originally I was going to take today off from blogging. I’m not working, today was going to just be relaxing.
But then I got thinking, which usually gets me in trouble. No exception today.
I am worried about the midlife crisis. If I don’t worry about it this year, and get it over with, then next year is really going to suck. I’m 39, and where am I? I have a career I can’t admit to face to face. I’m bullshitting my time away at temp jobs, when anybody serious would just take the fake identities I use professionally and use those to also hide from the IRS. Would they even notice if I dropped off the earth? More importantly, would they contact Mom to find me? There’s a problem. Or maybe I break down and launder the money through one of the channels that lets me get paid well and still be legal. It’s a pain to set up, but probably worth it in the long run. Can’t say much more without getting into details that I’m not going to share. See the Disclaimer page (which sucks, I know) I slapped together for things I’m not going giving instruction on. CYA. Cover Your Ass. The First Amendment is only going to get me so far…
I’m pretty sure I’m never going to end up married. Taking pride in a job well done involves disposing of evidence. At least the pay is good.
That long ago career counselor in high school probably didn’t see this coming, so I guess school didn’t prepare me for the real world well.
Aw, fuck it. You do what you gotta do to get by, right?. Inevitably you piss somebody off. I don’t think that can be helped, but I’m cynical again today. I’ve already got some plans. Some time in the next 10 years I’ll end up somewhere warm, islands or South America, or maybe I’ll go to Europe. How many people get to retire before 50? Either way the temp job route has outlived itself. More and more often people are noticing I seem a little old to be a temp. Then there’s a whole new set of excuses and lying. I’ll set up something else over the summer.
But that’s enough. It’s time to get the cynicism out of my system. Gun ranges are good places to clear your head, as are fitness centers. That’s as good an excuse as any to get me out of the apartment tomorrow.
6:45 PM (0) comments (Home/top)
Sunday, February 01, 2004
February!?!
Well, I remembered to turn the calendar page, which I don’t always manage to do right away. And then it hit me. Shit. February already. On one hand, that means one month of blogging. Okay, that part’s cool. But it also drives home something else. This Tuesday I turn 39. Maybe church will help get it off my mind for a while.
Midlife crisis? Me? Somehow in my line of work that seems a little absurd. I can see the ladderclimbers looking back at their lives and worrying that they aren’t where they thought they’d be. I’m not in jail. I do wonder how long I’ll keep doing this. I certainly don’t see myself going corporate and plugging away until retirement. But I don’t think I can do this forever. I don’t know if this is the kind of career that you can just retire from, and chill on a beach. It just reminds me that I need more better paying jobs. A few really good years and I might be able to arrange my own retirement. Hey, you don’t by chance have anyone you…sorry. Never mind.
7:44 AM (0) comments (Home/top)
Well, I remembered to turn the calendar page, which I don’t always manage to do right away. And then it hit me. Shit. February already. On one hand, that means one month of blogging. Okay, that part’s cool. But it also drives home something else. This Tuesday I turn 39. Maybe church will help get it off my mind for a while.
Midlife crisis? Me? Somehow in my line of work that seems a little absurd. I can see the ladderclimbers looking back at their lives and worrying that they aren’t where they thought they’d be. I’m not in jail. I do wonder how long I’ll keep doing this. I certainly don’t see myself going corporate and plugging away until retirement. But I don’t think I can do this forever. I don’t know if this is the kind of career that you can just retire from, and chill on a beach. It just reminds me that I need more better paying jobs. A few really good years and I might be able to arrange my own retirement. Hey, you don’t by chance have anyone you…sorry. Never mind.
7:44 AM (0) comments (Home/top)
